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Making friends when you are a kid is pretty easy. You kick a football together, have a game of tig and suddenly you are BFFs. As we grow up, however, things don’t always feel so easy. Our emotions, particularly the fear of embarrassment, often take over, meaning we are afraid to step out of our comfort zone and approach people in the way we want to.
Being open to making new friends, however, can hugely enrich your life. It can lead to meaningful connections and a greater sense of self-worth and purpose. Even though you might have a lot of friends from back home, you might be struggling to find like-minded people in Leeds or at uni who you can connect with. Sound familiar? If so, here are some tips to help you become more open to making new friends:
Be positive
Approaching the idea of making new friends is best achieved with a positive mindset. If you genuinely believe and visualise that there are some amazing people out there who would be interested in getting to know you, then the law of attraction is sure to help you find them! Try to let go of any negativity or fears that could be holding you back.
Watch your body language
Remember that it’s very likely that other people will be feeling exactly the same way you are in terms of making friends or even just finding the courage to spark up a conversation with a stranger. Be aware of your body language and how you come across to others so that you appear approachable and kind. Smile, make eye contact, and be open to conversations with those around you, no matter who they are. Even the way you stand, for example crossing your arms or turning your back to someone, can give off the vibe that you are closed off or disinterested in any contact.
Try something new
Stepping outside your usual comfort zone is really difficult, but hugely rewarding. Attending social events, clubs or group exercise classes might feel daunting for you, especially if you are going alone, however, if you don’t try these things, you’ll never know. Once you’ve taken the courage to attend, push yourself to initiate conversations and make the first move in reaching out to others. Whether it's a sports team, academic club, or hobby group, being part of these groups provides opportunities to connect with fellow students who share your passions.
Work on your listening skills
Listening is an art form and one which very few people have truly perfected. When engaging in conversations with fellow students or colleagues, try to show genuine interest in them and what they are saying. Give them eye contact, never interrupt, and ask open-ended questions to engage in meaningful conversations and continue the interaction. Make an effort to remember details about people and follow up on previous conversations. This shows that you care and value their presence, which can help to create a bond of friendship between you.
Always be genuine
Authenticity is vital when it comes to meeting new people and making new friends. Be true to yourself and let your personality shine. Don't try to be someone you're not or pretend to have interests or possessions that aren’t real. Genuine friendships are built on mutual understanding and acceptance of each other’s real self. Treat individuals with empathy and kindness. Show understanding and compassion and be supportive of their interests and goals. Small acts of kindness can go a long way in building rapport and making others feel valued.
Be patient
If at first you don’t succeed….you know the rest of the sentence! Starting and building friendships takes time and effort. Be patient and understand that not every interaction will result in a lifelong friendship. Don't get discouraged by initial setbacks or rejections. Keep putting yourself out there, meeting new people, and fostering connections. Friendships can develop unexpectedly when you least expect them.